Check out the link below before checking out my comments. Briefly, a girl who hit 300 lbs lost weight...just to lose her virginity!
NOW that you've read the article that made Sally Sall return to writing, check out her sage and brilliant comments. Love to all,
sally b
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What's sad about this article--and several comments thereabout--is that some feel that virginity is a curse.
That the measure of a woman's worth is how many men want to bed her.
That "inexperience" is a turn-off to someone who's "gotten some" before.
Virginity is a treasure. Once it is gone, it can never come back. This applies to both men and women, though men don't have an external indicator of it. Then again, women (as in Middle Eastern countries like Egypt) sometimes undergo "revirginisation surgery." This is done in order to convince/trick the new husband into thinking the woman is a virgin.
That it is even done is proof of the high importance placed on virginity in some places. (As opposed to Charlotte's take that virginity was something to be gotten rid of.)
I disagree that this surgery should even exist (because it is, at the end of the day, trickery) and that virginity should be the end-all in some cultures.
On the other hand, many Westerners have no respect for their purity; they see sex as an itch to be scratched (like when Charlotte preferred sex with a stranger so he wouldn't pick up on her inexperience), or a mark of another's affection (like her envy of the love and affection that her friends were apparently getting).
On the contrary, a person can be emotionally fulfilled to the extreme--without compromising his or her (and yes, I support extra-marital virginity for men, too) physical and emotional purity.
I also agree with the comments that the problem was with Charlotte's outlook on life as a large lass.
The root problem is really the fact that people don't respect themselves anymore. People go for the people who most rigidly conform with society's beauty ideal because it boosts their own self-esteem that they could get someone that was "that hot." And if nobody propositions them or touches them or even says the words that they want to hear, they feel unwanted, unloved, unworthy.
And it's not that "men are shallow," it's that humans are shallow. They seek physical pleasures--whether sex, good food, strong drink, drugs, even exercise, gambling, or big-ticket items--because they have an emotional void.
They long to feel loved. They long to have proof of this love. They think that physical sensations and affection will make them content.
What they don't realise is that the love they are seeking is their OWN love. They need to accept themselves, and strive to make themselves the best they can be, so as to preserve or achieve a positive mental and spiritual state.
Some people incorrectly feel that they do love themselves, their proof being that they often "treat themselves" to spa treatments or new jewellry or expensive cars; they think "I deserve it." They may even be called "materialistic" or "selfish" or a "compulsive shopper" by other people. And they disagree, thinking that "I'm taking care of myself, making myself as happy as I can be... coz if you don't love yourself, who loves you, baby?"
What they don't see is that their pursuit of these things is not "treating themselves" to happiness, but to thinking that these things will make them happy. And things can't MAKE you happy, you have to CHOOSE to be happy. Have you ever noticed that the thrill of a new car or a new love always fades? There's always something that takes you from "This is IT!" to "Hmmm... what now? What's next?"
And that means that you weren't happy to begin with, you were just pleased with your newest acquisition.
The true test of contentedness is this--if everyone you loved were to perish (God forbid) or if you were to irrevocably lose everything you ever worked for or got (including health) would you still be happy? Happiness is an outlook on life, not a state of mind.
You can be sad about something, even grief-stricken, but if you feel incomplete when you lose something, then maybe you weren't whole to begin with. If you seek out a replacement for that lost thing, then you *definitely* weren't whole to begin with.
(Actually, I happen to believe that without a relationship with our Creator, we ARE incomplete, but I shall save the sermon for another day.)
The POINT here is that we should love ourselves, CHOOSE to be happy, take care of ourselves, and realise that things around us will ALWAYS change! Looks fade. Half the time they aren't even real these days. People die, lose interest, betray us. We get older, saggier--but wiser, hopefully.
What stays with us on this earth is our mind-set, our attitude, and our respect for ourselves.
May everyone reading this know the fullness and supreme serenity of a self-accepting, God-fearing, Jesus-loving and *sublime* existence of perfect happiness, always.
